My Spring semester at Lourdes has come to a close. It was much more difficult than I had thought it would be, and in many ways, more rewarding to finish it than I could ever have assumed it would be. During my semester, I started counseling, which has been both good and bad. It was, above all, certainly needed. My counselor has been pretty amazing, and it's nice to have a place to go to spill one's guts. There is a therapeutic value to being able to allow your feelings to gush forth like water from a broken pipe. (I fought the urge there, for the record, to compare it to blood and veins, but then I thought I might be giving the wrong impression, what with the mention of counseling in the very same paragraph and all.)
Being out of the dorms is both wonderful and awful. I made some great friends there, and I will miss them greatly. The drama, on the other hand, was getting to be a little too much to handle with my sanity in tact. Being home is imperfect, but it's also temporary. I'm almost hesitant to unpack my things because it feels like the time I spent living with all my friends at the dorms will truly be at an end. It also feels like the weight of the choices that face me will crush me.
Choice is big for me right now. I have to choose where to live, choose what to do with friends, choose what to do with my marriage, choose what to do in difficult situations, choose to stay sober. Every time I turn around, there's another tough call to make, another situation that requires the full magnitude of all of my thought. Staying sober has been difficult in all of this, but it's also been great. I am, in the face of all the questions I get day-to-day (from everyone, including my counselor), still sober. In a little less than a month, it'll be six months sober for me. While I don't go to AA or anything (yet...), I still feel pretty accomplished.
Mostly, I just wanted to update this blog before going to sleep. I know it's been a while, but I'm still here. I'm still hanging in. I'll expand on feelings-type crap tomorrow. For now, I'm content to still be. And to get a little sleep.
Showing posts with label Lourdes College. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lourdes College. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Friday, August 27, 2010
First Week Complete
My first week of classes at Lourdes has officially come to a close. I'm not entirely sure how I'm feeling about it yet, to be perfectly frank. I'm enjoying having something to do again. I enjoy the campus. It's beautiful here, and the people are almost disconcertingly nice. I'm struggling with my classes though. I'm seriously filled with fear that my chosen path is not for me. The more I think about it, the more fearful that I become, which is obviously in no way helping.
Things are getting a little better here for me on campus though. I'm getting accustomed to the people that I'm surrounding myself with. The girls on my floor--Lexi, Catherine, M Jay, and Melissa--are all pretty cool. There are a few more, but they rarely come out of their rooms. M Jay, Lexi, Catherine and I spent some time last night hanging out and talking about classes and boys since our Internet was down. I'm the only married student in the dorms, I believe, so I'm probably the only one in our group that doesn't have boy drama. I'm also feeling pretty old because the rest of them are rather young. Melissa is the only one that's older than me, and she's only a few months older.
The campus meal plan has its ups and downs. The food is pretty good when you finally have it, especially downstairs with the all-you-can-eat style thing. The problem is that the food area downstairs isn't always open, so I'm stuck with cold sandwiches and fruit cups the rest of the time. The worst is that they stop serving dinner before I'm even out of class three nights in a row. So I'm forced to go, pick up my food, shove it in my bag, sit through class, and tough it out until I have an actual opportunity to eat it, which usually doesn't come until later at night when I'm at home.
Walking to campus has been really different. I'm not used to having to walk to school each day. When JJ and I went to Owens, we drove about an hour there and about an hour back. This is a 25 minute walk there and a 25 minute walk back. I'm learning to enjoy it, but the first few days took some getting used to. This is actually a really lovely area. There are squirrels and birds. It's been cool lately, so that the walk has been mostly pleasant. Last night, on my way home, I almost lamented not bringing a jacket with me.
My weekend is looking interesting. I'm going to try to order pizza on Saturday night I think. And since I'm not sticking around today on campus until dinner, I'm trying to get as much food as I can at lunch. It might make my walk home a little less than pleasant, but it'll give me a chance to spend the rest of the night in the apartment without having to go anywhere. Probably when I get back, I'll collect my purse so that I can go buy a pack of cigarettes at the local pantry. I know that I quit smoking, and I was going strong for like two years, but I've been really stressed out. Living on campus, being away from my family, friends, and husband, and having to face all the drama of being a nursing student is starting to get to me.
Hopefully, this weekend can be filled with studying and little else. Maybe on Saturday, I'll get a chance to actually relax a little bit--sleep in for once! It didn't work for me today. I had a meeting to attend with accessibility services about taking notes for other students in need. Why that would be scheduled for a 10 AM on Friday morning, I have no idea! On the upside, it's over. It got me here for breakfast and lunch, so I can't complain too hard about that.
For now, I'm going to finish my lunch and face the rest of my day. Walking home, studying, and maybe a movie will be in order for my night. I hope we have Internet back by the time I get back to the dorms!
Things are getting a little better here for me on campus though. I'm getting accustomed to the people that I'm surrounding myself with. The girls on my floor--Lexi, Catherine, M Jay, and Melissa--are all pretty cool. There are a few more, but they rarely come out of their rooms. M Jay, Lexi, Catherine and I spent some time last night hanging out and talking about classes and boys since our Internet was down. I'm the only married student in the dorms, I believe, so I'm probably the only one in our group that doesn't have boy drama. I'm also feeling pretty old because the rest of them are rather young. Melissa is the only one that's older than me, and she's only a few months older.
The campus meal plan has its ups and downs. The food is pretty good when you finally have it, especially downstairs with the all-you-can-eat style thing. The problem is that the food area downstairs isn't always open, so I'm stuck with cold sandwiches and fruit cups the rest of the time. The worst is that they stop serving dinner before I'm even out of class three nights in a row. So I'm forced to go, pick up my food, shove it in my bag, sit through class, and tough it out until I have an actual opportunity to eat it, which usually doesn't come until later at night when I'm at home.
Walking to campus has been really different. I'm not used to having to walk to school each day. When JJ and I went to Owens, we drove about an hour there and about an hour back. This is a 25 minute walk there and a 25 minute walk back. I'm learning to enjoy it, but the first few days took some getting used to. This is actually a really lovely area. There are squirrels and birds. It's been cool lately, so that the walk has been mostly pleasant. Last night, on my way home, I almost lamented not bringing a jacket with me.
My weekend is looking interesting. I'm going to try to order pizza on Saturday night I think. And since I'm not sticking around today on campus until dinner, I'm trying to get as much food as I can at lunch. It might make my walk home a little less than pleasant, but it'll give me a chance to spend the rest of the night in the apartment without having to go anywhere. Probably when I get back, I'll collect my purse so that I can go buy a pack of cigarettes at the local pantry. I know that I quit smoking, and I was going strong for like two years, but I've been really stressed out. Living on campus, being away from my family, friends, and husband, and having to face all the drama of being a nursing student is starting to get to me.
Hopefully, this weekend can be filled with studying and little else. Maybe on Saturday, I'll get a chance to actually relax a little bit--sleep in for once! It didn't work for me today. I had a meeting to attend with accessibility services about taking notes for other students in need. Why that would be scheduled for a 10 AM on Friday morning, I have no idea! On the upside, it's over. It got me here for breakfast and lunch, so I can't complain too hard about that.
For now, I'm going to finish my lunch and face the rest of my day. Walking home, studying, and maybe a movie will be in order for my night. I hope we have Internet back by the time I get back to the dorms!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I'm Half-Asleep and I Am Wide Awake
Alright, in the interest of being taken seriously and being a mature and responsible blogger, I probably ought to stop tossing out updates at 3 AM. However, since I am neither mature nor responsible, 3 AM updates are what you're getting. You'll live. I'm sure of it.
Today was hectic, but pretty cool. I actually accomplished surprisingly little. Dad and I went out to Owens to meet up with Ed and exchange work. (In case I haven't mentioned it, Ed has a little e-bay business. We do some minor data entry and photographic work for him for very little pay. Sadly, it's all we have right now.) Ed was amiable. I also got to see some of the people that I used to work with. I never thought I'd miss Owens so much! I really miss my old job. I wish I could still be working there.
It was nice to see my old friends and colleagues. When we left, my dad sarcastically said, "Jesus, Jessica. I know you had a good academic career here, but I just wish you'd actually made some friends!" I felt pretty good about the fact that I was missed. It's nice to be able to say that you were liked somewhere.
Later, we headed to Lourdes. Apparently, however, we're required to submit W-2's with our tax forms now. Was this listed on the web page or e-mailed about? No. From what the lovely ladies in the financial aid office said, the policy was only just put in place on July 1st. Of course, this means that I have to make another trip out to Lourdes with the other papers now. They wouldn't take any of my forms at all without the W-2's. Quite the waste of a trip. I'm very disappointed.
In other news, I blame AW for my recent interest in an awesome Canadian band called Marianas Trench. I can't get over their music! It's so good! And their lead singer is adorable! U.S. tour soon, boys? Please?
Today was hectic, but pretty cool. I actually accomplished surprisingly little. Dad and I went out to Owens to meet up with Ed and exchange work. (In case I haven't mentioned it, Ed has a little e-bay business. We do some minor data entry and photographic work for him for very little pay. Sadly, it's all we have right now.) Ed was amiable. I also got to see some of the people that I used to work with. I never thought I'd miss Owens so much! I really miss my old job. I wish I could still be working there.
It was nice to see my old friends and colleagues. When we left, my dad sarcastically said, "Jesus, Jessica. I know you had a good academic career here, but I just wish you'd actually made some friends!" I felt pretty good about the fact that I was missed. It's nice to be able to say that you were liked somewhere.
Later, we headed to Lourdes. Apparently, however, we're required to submit W-2's with our tax forms now. Was this listed on the web page or e-mailed about? No. From what the lovely ladies in the financial aid office said, the policy was only just put in place on July 1st. Of course, this means that I have to make another trip out to Lourdes with the other papers now. They wouldn't take any of my forms at all without the W-2's. Quite the waste of a trip. I'm very disappointed.
In other news, I blame AW for my recent interest in an awesome Canadian band called Marianas Trench. I can't get over their music! It's so good! And their lead singer is adorable! U.S. tour soon, boys? Please?
Friday, April 16, 2010
Transfer Preparations
Today, my husband and I had to jet on over to Lourdes College after my class ended so that we could get to my meeting with my nursing adviser at 2:30 PM. Morning classes went well, despite my lack of time to study for my psychology test. Even though I didn't do as well on it as I had hoped, I know it was my own fault. My grade was still an A, but it was a little close for comfort. Luckily, my grade is still fantastic, so it's okay.
My adviser was wonderful. She was extremely enthusiastic about my starting classes at Lourdes. She helped me get some of them scheduled. Some, however, they are waiting to find out if they can start additional sections. I was informed, however, that I would be able to take the two nursing introduction-level courses in the summer. I was really hoping for a summer off, but if I have to do it, I can push through.
Lourdes is a beautiful campus. I was really surprised. I had never been there before, so I was pleasantly surprised. I felt very comfortable there. I'm even more excited than before to be moving over to Lourdes in the Fall. It's going to be great!
After my advising appointment, JJ and I ran a few sundry errands. Then, after all that, we went over to the Toledo Museum of Art so that I could get some notes on a painting for a History of Western Art paper. I'm pretty excited about it, actually. It's going to be good because I feel like I have a lot to write about. It's this painting. In fact, this paper is all that I'll be working on tomorrow. I have two papers due next Friday, a presentation to work on, a wikipedia article to write about a philosopher (what an academic assignment!), and a few other sundry assignments. I have to work a little harder since the semester is at a close. Yikes!
In other, related news, yesterday Nick and I volunteered to be ushers at an Owens event. Garrison Keillor came to our college. I was in a terrible mood because I had to get a tooth filled that morning--something I'm not apt to handle well anyways and is still sensitive to heat and cold--but I had made a commitment and I had to see it through. All that we had to do was seat people, which I did for a few hours. It wasn't as bad as I thought, though I did end up having a terrible tension headache before the end of the night.
Anyways, Garrison Keillor was amazing. He was honest and interesting. He has this great way of telling a story that forces you to think in pictures. I attribute this to having spent so much time on radio. Radio narration forces you to make people visualize the things you're discussing. He had great stories, all of them very funny. He talked about his personal experiences in his hometown. He even made a condom joke. It was a delightful time!
Actually, my whole week has been good. My dentist appointment wasn't as expensive as I thought. I got to see Garrison Keillor for free while helping out my school. My husband got something to help him relax about school. My Fall semester is set in motion. I feel good about it! And now, unlike at any other time during my week, I'm going to go get some rest. We have "family brunch" in the morning, which is something new my family is trying due to our lack of family dinner opportunities.
My adviser was wonderful. She was extremely enthusiastic about my starting classes at Lourdes. She helped me get some of them scheduled. Some, however, they are waiting to find out if they can start additional sections. I was informed, however, that I would be able to take the two nursing introduction-level courses in the summer. I was really hoping for a summer off, but if I have to do it, I can push through.
Lourdes is a beautiful campus. I was really surprised. I had never been there before, so I was pleasantly surprised. I felt very comfortable there. I'm even more excited than before to be moving over to Lourdes in the Fall. It's going to be great!
After my advising appointment, JJ and I ran a few sundry errands. Then, after all that, we went over to the Toledo Museum of Art so that I could get some notes on a painting for a History of Western Art paper. I'm pretty excited about it, actually. It's going to be good because I feel like I have a lot to write about. It's this painting. In fact, this paper is all that I'll be working on tomorrow. I have two papers due next Friday, a presentation to work on, a wikipedia article to write about a philosopher (what an academic assignment!), and a few other sundry assignments. I have to work a little harder since the semester is at a close. Yikes!
In other, related news, yesterday Nick and I volunteered to be ushers at an Owens event. Garrison Keillor came to our college. I was in a terrible mood because I had to get a tooth filled that morning--something I'm not apt to handle well anyways and is still sensitive to heat and cold--but I had made a commitment and I had to see it through. All that we had to do was seat people, which I did for a few hours. It wasn't as bad as I thought, though I did end up having a terrible tension headache before the end of the night.
Anyways, Garrison Keillor was amazing. He was honest and interesting. He has this great way of telling a story that forces you to think in pictures. I attribute this to having spent so much time on radio. Radio narration forces you to make people visualize the things you're discussing. He had great stories, all of them very funny. He talked about his personal experiences in his hometown. He even made a condom joke. It was a delightful time!
Actually, my whole week has been good. My dentist appointment wasn't as expensive as I thought. I got to see Garrison Keillor for free while helping out my school. My husband got something to help him relax about school. My Fall semester is set in motion. I feel good about it! And now, unlike at any other time during my week, I'm going to go get some rest. We have "family brunch" in the morning, which is something new my family is trying due to our lack of family dinner opportunities.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)