And Hope To Die

Alright, so I need to blog more frequently. I even received a Facebook comment about my lack of blog--which was surprising and flattering! In my defense, however, most of the blogs that I follow seem to be lacking as of late too, so I'm not inclined to feel quite so bad about it. To be realistic, though, I probably wouldn't have felt all that bad about it anyways.

Things have been more or less uneventful for me lately. I dropped my nursing courses, which was quick and mostly painless. Part of me still feels a bit like a quitter, but I know that I'm doing the right thing for myself. I don't think that nursing would have made me all that happy in the long run. The most unfortunate part of the whole endeavor is that I now have a ton of science credits, which will probably do very little for me when I switch to an English major. Needless to say, this sets back any potential graduation date as well.

The dorms are interesting, and there's always something to do here. My issues with my roommate were resolved after an R.A. meeting. She's still Crazy McCrazyton, but at least she's resolved to doing some things like putting her stuff away and cleaning the bathroom on a rotating schedule. (If calling her crazy seems unfair, consider the fact that I politely asked her to put her cereal away and replace the toilet paper roll when empty and she didn't speak to me for two days.) She did tell our R.A.'s that I make her feel awkward, which I took a little bit personally. She also said that I got an attitude with her, which I had been really careful not to do in light of her personality. I know how bipolar people operate. You don't rattle the cages. So to tell me that I got an attitude with you when I was attempting to do my best to be nice sort of irks me.

I guess it makes me wonder how exactly it is that I'm required to approach her. I mean, if the usual adult methods don't work, what in the hell am I supposed to do? Is there a formula for this sort of interaction? Is there a manual available somewhere? I'm having extreme difficulty not losing my patience with her.

Not much else is really going on around me. Last night, the girls and I watched Steel Magnolias. We felt there was a need for a chick flick movie night. Three out of five of us are menstruating on the same cycle, so God help anyone else in the building. It's going to be Apocalypse Now when the other two sync up. Even worse will be if my roommate ever syncs up with us and gets extra dramatic--I will probably lose my shit on her.

I was at home this weekend. I'm sure that the universe had a grand laugh at my expense because, no sooner than I got home, I started my period. That, of course, was an adventure since all of my tampons were back at the dorms. Fantastic! Thrillingly, I had to go purchase some. Of course, my mother--helpful as she is--reminded me in her nastiest tone that my period was not anyone else's fault. What a coincidence, since I never blamed anyone else! My mother has an uncanny knack for saying the things that truly irritate me. She continues to remind me of this each weekend that I go home.

Yet, despite that unpleasantness, it was nice to be able to sleep in my own bed and spend some time with my family. Though they do occasionally get on my nerves, I do like being around them for the most part. My grandfather came in for lunch on Sunday afternoon, which was also very nice. He seems to like me much better than he used to, and it makes me grateful. My grandfather has a wealth of interesting stories. I enjoy talking to him, especially when he starts to talk about how things were during the war. It always interests me to hear about how things were in the 30s and 40s.

My plans for the week are vague at best. I have to find some sources for a pathophysiology paper. I also have to study for my biochemistry midterm this week. Gotta love having an eight week course! It's over before you know it! It would be nice if all of my classes were like that. I really do need to buckle down, though. I feel like, as the semester wears on, it's getting harder and harder for me to actually focus, to study. All of this is very complicated, though, because I'm good at studying. I just need to actually get around to doing it.

I feel like an addict, restless and discontent, disconnected. It's too easy to slip back into this apathy, too easy to embrace that high school laziness, high school attitude. The worst part about all of that is how much more prone I am to making terrible choices. I get to a point where I don't really care who I hurt--even if that means hurting myself--or what I'm doing. I fear that I don't really care about myself at all, that my selfishness and egotism is all a grand illusion. Perhaps this is true. Perhaps it's a great facade. Perhaps all my most honest truths are really lies. Wouldn't that just shatter my tiny little world?

Transfer Preparations

Today, my husband and I had to jet on over to Lourdes College after my class ended so that we could get to my meeting with my nursing adviser at 2:30 PM. Morning classes went well, despite my lack of time to study for my psychology test. Even though I didn't do as well on it as I had hoped, I know it was my own fault. My grade was still an A, but it was a little close for comfort. Luckily, my grade is still fantastic, so it's okay.

My adviser was wonderful. She was extremely enthusiastic about my starting classes at Lourdes. She helped me get some of them scheduled. Some, however, they are waiting to find out if they can start additional sections. I was informed, however, that I would be able to take the two nursing introduction-level courses in the summer. I was really hoping for a summer off, but if I have to do it, I can push through.

Lourdes is a beautiful campus. I was really surprised. I had never been there before, so I was pleasantly surprised. I felt very comfortable there. I'm even more excited than before to be moving over to Lourdes in the Fall. It's going to be great!

After my advising appointment, JJ and I ran a few sundry errands. Then, after all that, we went over to the Toledo Museum of Art so that I could get some notes on a painting for a History of Western Art paper. I'm pretty excited about it, actually. It's going to be good because I feel like I have a lot to write about. It's this painting. In fact, this paper is all that I'll be working on tomorrow. I have two papers due next Friday, a presentation to work on, a wikipedia article to write about a philosopher (what an academic assignment!), and a few other sundry assignments. I have to work a little harder since the semester is at a close. Yikes!

In other, related news, yesterday Nick and I volunteered to be ushers at an Owens event. Garrison Keillor came to our college. I was in a terrible mood because I had to get a tooth filled that morning--something I'm not apt to handle well anyways and is still sensitive to heat and cold--but I had made a commitment and I had to see it through. All that we had to do was seat people, which I did for a few hours. It wasn't as bad as I thought, though I did end up having a terrible tension headache before the end of the night.

Anyways, Garrison Keillor was amazing. He was honest and interesting. He has this great way of telling a story that forces you to think in pictures. I attribute this to having spent so much time on radio. Radio narration forces you to make people visualize the things you're discussing. He had great stories, all of them very funny. He talked about his personal experiences in his hometown. He even made a condom joke. It was a delightful time!

Actually, my whole week has been good. My dentist appointment wasn't as expensive as I thought. I got to see Garrison Keillor for free while helping out my school. My husband got something to help him relax about school. My Fall semester is set in motion. I feel good about it! And now, unlike at any other time during my week, I'm going to go get some rest. We have "family brunch" in the morning, which is something new my family is trying due to our lack of family dinner opportunities.