Best Night Ever

I'm relatively certain that tonight was, by far, the best night of my life. As some of you readers (all two of you) may know, I'm desperately in love with all things Marianas Trench. I found out a while back that they were coming to the United States--as they are a Canadian band--and I bought tickets for their show in Columbus, Ohio, the day that they went on sale. Tonight was the night of their concert, and, Readers, I must say it was epic!

Josh Ramsay is pretty sure Mike Ayley's hair is awful.

Same picture, different angle. I like this one better, I think.

First, Josh and Mike did a signing at the F.Y.E. in the Columbus mall. Kaitlin and I went early to be sure that we got to meet them, which we did. We were the second people in line, and I got all my stuff signed, including an awesome necklace that Kaitlin gave me just before the concert. If you don't believe roommate love is possible, visit Kaitlin and I for a while. It's love up in this bitch. Love.

Perfect for the occasion!

I also took a picture with the guys.

Please ignore how utterly pasty I look when compared to regular people.

After the signing was over, we headed to the venue to wait to see the show. We had to park way out in the boondocks because we couldn't find a place to park near the venue. (We were later informed by a friend we happened to make at the signing that there was a parking garage literally across the street from the venue. Balls!) We ended up parking in front of some residence. Kaitlin almost stepped on a dead rat when she got out of her car. It was unpleasant, to say the least. We waited outside in the cold with our friends from the F.Y.E. signing for an hour and a half at least, but then we finally made it inside.

The show was amazing. Josh Ramsay sings live in the same way that he sings on his albums. Mike Ayley, Matt Webb, and Ian Casselman were all amazing. They sounded so great! Lots of bands can be utterly disappointing live, but not Marianas Trench. The crowd was excited and knew a surprising amount of words to the songs. They played a five song set including (in no particular order): "All To Myself," "Cross My Heart," "Celebrity Status," "Shake Tramp," and "Beside You." It was wonderful!

Kaitlin and I left after Marianas Trench was done playing. The walk back to the car had us walking past an alley that was in the back of the venue, and I begged Kaitlin to go down with me to see if the band was outside. Just my luck, they were! After begging Kaitlin to walk further down and talk with them with me, I eventually left her side to talk to Josh Ramsay solo.

The talk that I had with him was amazing. You know that feeling that you get when you really want to meet someone and you just know it's going to be awesome? I had that feeling all day. Josh Ramsay is every bit as accommodating and cool as he seems like he ought to be. We chatted about their tour, about how I introduced my dorm friends to their music, and about sobriety, which was amazing. He was totally understanding. He asked me if I was going to meetings (A.A. for those of you that don't speak fuck-up), and he suggested that I go to them because they can be really supportive. When I asked, he made a little video to greet my friends at the dorms. When I asked, he gave me a hug, which was pretty much perfect. He thanked me for coming out to the show, and I thanked him for the awesome music.

I really don't know what to say other than that it was truly awesome to be able to converse with my favorite person. I don't think that there would have been a more ideal way for me to meet Josh or for things to go down. It was really nice to be able to talk to him about sobriety especially and to know that he understands where I'm coming from with it. It was also nice to hear him support me when there are people in my life right now that know me and don't even offer me support. (In fact, I've been told I'm going to fail. More than once. I've also been told that "Jessica plus alcohol equals a good time." Winners, all around.)

On the way home, we got lost. The good part is that we were only lost for a little while. The GPS malfunctioned, but Kaitlin had a GPS system on her phone. We made it back in one piece and incredibly happy.

Marianas Trench will definitely not lose their place as my favorite band. They've earned it for sure. And Josh Ramsay has my loyalty for sure. Today makes me feel like things are finally turning around for me, like things might be looking up for me in life. Maybe it's because this is my 77th day sober--lucky 7's. Maybe my life is going to be better than it seems. So, Readers, before I gush any more about my amazing night, I leave you with this lovely video.

Meanwhile...

Being back at school has been an interesting experience this semester. I seem to have much less patience for the people around me, as previously stated. It all seems to come in waves. I have my good days, when being around everyone is fun and enjoyable. Then, I have my bad days, when I find the people around me totally insufferable, with a few notable exceptions.

Today, I'm just feeling incredibly left out. I'm sure it seems awfully teenage and emo, but I guess blogging about it is my way of coping with it without having a childish breakdown or crying jag. I'm pretty sure that's on it's way at some point, though. Lord knows that I always manage to have a crying jag at the most inconvenient of times. Of course, all of these feelings were, in a way, precipitated by something even more childish than I'm feeling already, so it all serves to make me feel even more ridiculous. I don't really see any point in rehashing the whole situation in written form because it will just serve to make me seem as ridiculous as I am, which I'm not really interested in right now.

Mostly, I'm just tired of my circumstances. I'm tired of not having a car. I'm irritated with never having any money to do anything with. I'm sick of having to base my life around living with other people when what I really want is some solitude. I hate that I missed two classes last week because I was sick. I hate desperately trying to play catch-up when I can't because the work just keeps getting piled up higher and higher on top of me. I'm tired of doing favors for people who give me attitude or lip.

I guess I'm tired of everything. I wish that I didn't have to think or act or pay attention. It would suit me very well to simply slip away on my own. I'd love to live as a hermit in the woods for a while, shunning the physical and mental ardor that comes along with the expectations associated with being a part of a community. If I thought that going home would serve for me as some kind of small vacation, I might go there. However, it's much easier to be here than it is to be there for a large variety of reasons.

I suppose that I simply have a stunning lack of faith when it comes to other people. I would love to act like I have patience for everyone that happens my way, but the fact of the matter is that my patience is seriously limited. People never fail to disappoint me, but always fail to understand me. I don't know what's more frustrating to me: my anger with them for failing to understand me or my anger with myself for expecting that they might understand me.

Of course, this blog has predictably turned to brain vomit, but I'll go ahead and post it anyways. It's true to the blogosphere to post what you're really thinking. For now, this pessimistic drivel is what's swimming in my tired and pissy head. Sorry, world!