Day Twenty-five: Person Going Through The Worst Of Times

Katlyn,

If there was anyone in my life right now that I'd say is going through the worst of times, I'd say it's you. And I know it might not always seem like it, but I feel for you. I know that you're hurting, and I know that times are tough for you right now. Being a teenage girl, even at the best of times, sucks out loud.

The best advice that I can give you is to keep it together. There's always another day on the horizon. It's never over. No matter what happens, stick it out. Keep on living. Keep on going. Keep on trying. I've been through the hard times too, and maybe it seems stupid, but remembering that I could always wake up to new possibilities tomorrow kind of made it easier for me.

It gets easier with time. You'll find your place in the world soon enough, my dear. My main advice to give you is this: don't look for yourself in other people. Find yourself in you. What do you like? What do you love? What do you do when you're alone? Are you comfortable spending a whole day by yourself, totally alone? If the answer is no, it's time to think about what that might mean for you.

Learn to value yourself. Other people come and go, but you live with yourself forever. Just remember that. If you ever come to a point where you don't like the choices that you're making and you don't like being in the same room with yourself alone for more than an hour, it's time to start making some changes.

You're a good kid. You deserve to be treated well and respected. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You are smart, and I believe that you could do just about anything that you set your mind to. Don't let the world or anyone else ever tell you or let you believe differently. Be uncompromising about being yourself. Don't change for anyone unless you're changing for yourself. Love who you are. Respect yourself.

I remember being a teenager. I remember that it was complicated and scary and it didn't make any sense. I remember feeling like there wasn't any one in the world that gave a shit about me. There was one adult that made a huge difference in my life because she cared about me: your aunt Angie. I hope that you have someone like that in your life right now. I also hope that you know that you can call me any time you need someone to talk to or you need to vent. I'll listen without judging you.

At some point, you'll look back on your teenage years and think the same thing that we all do about our teenage years: there were good times, there were bad times, but you got through them all. It seems far away, but that day will come. Cry when you need to cry, laugh when you need to laugh, and always remember to put yourself first.

I love you, kiddo.

Jess