Diminished Return

You may have been wondering to yourself, "Self, why hasn't Jessica updated in like a week or so?"

Alright, I'm reasonable enough to acknowledge that that's just my ego talking...but it's a really nice idea. The answer is that JJ and I had to go out of town for a funeral last week. This week, to be frank, it's just been my utter laziness. JJ's family had a close friend who passed away, which his grandmother has been taking quite hard. We felt it would be appropriate for us to be in town, for JJ to pay his respects. He ended up serving as a pall bearer at her funeral, so it was a good thing that we came.

This week, it's been lacking motivation. After spending last week having fun with my old friends in the Bend, this week just seems like a drain and a waste. I've spent it poorly. I've been thinking of old friends and old places, doing old things like reading fanfics. Perhaps it was out of a sense of nostalgia that I resurrected the old LiveJournal--LJ for short.

Things just haven't been really going my way lately. The husband and I have fought. I've hardly accomplished a damned thing. I haven't heard back about my paper, which I did finally turn in. I haven't had a satisfactory response from several of the e-mails I've sent. I just feel like my life isn't on the ball. I feel like all I want to do is stay in bed and read or surf the web, which of course is the exact kind of unproductive crap that has me feeling this way in the first place. See where the trouble is? It's a vicious cycle!

In an effort to get myself out of the funk, I volunteered for yard work. Yard work of all things!! I hate being outside. I hate the sun. I hate bugs. I hate that I'll sweat. I pretty much hate the entire experience of yard work. This is going to be an exercise in futility. But who's going to tough it out like a big girl and do it anyways because she said she would? This girl. Wish me luck.