Beds Aren't Just For Sleeping

My sleep schedule is, once again, totally screwed up. I've been meaning to blog again for the last couple of days,  but I get into this terrible habit of thinking about what to write while laying in bed. By the time I think of something worth actually writing about, I'm in the process of falling asleep. Naturally, when I wake up, I don't have any recollection of what I was thinking about beforehand.

Sleeping for me has been happening in oddly placed four to six hour segments. I'll sleep from midnight to around four A.M., but then I'll be awake until around noon. Then I'll sleep from noon until around five P.M. and be awake until midnight again. It's not really allowing me to be very well-rested, but it's also not really allowing me to get a whole hell of a lot done, either.

Of course, that's based on the notion that I've been productive lately. And, let's face it, that's just not the case. I've been watching a lot of anime lately, though. I forgot how much I loved Japanese and the Japanese culture. I forgot how enjoyable anime happens to be. I also forgot that after watching two series (start to finish) in five days that, afterwards, I have a propensity for spitting out Japanese phrases as though they make sense to those around me. (For those of you who don't know, I took four years of Japanese in high school. I loved it! So, while those phrases may make sense to me, most people in the Midwest don't really speak Japanese.) Anime also makes me crave Japanese foods and green tea.

In line with my recent attempts to be neither seen nor heard in my household, most of my anime viewing has been via Netflix streaming from my laptop in my room. I usually watch it while just laying in bed, which means I probably would look pretty strange to anyone who happened to just walk in. Especially since most of the time I'm also cuddling a large, stuffed penguin.

Yeah, that's right. This is how we do anime nights.

I'm pretty sure that I spend much more time in bed than your average human being--unless, I suppose, you're comparing me to maybe John and Yoko. I'm not usually sleeping in it. I'm reading, blogging, watching anime, watching Netflix (since my TV is still not hooked up...because I'm usually too lazy to get out of bed when the laptop is right there...), surfing the internet, or whatever else. Eventually, yes, I might give in and sleep. Most of the time, though, I'm actually doing something.

I guess probably the worst part about this crazy sleep schedule is that nights can be really lonely. No one's awake in our house--not that I'd really be downstairs or in the way--and hardly anyone is online. It's pretty much just me and Netflix. I've been visiting this website, CompassionPit, which allows you to vent your problems to other people or to listen to other people who need to vent theirs anonymously. I recently connected with a young lady on there going through a bad break up, and we were able to kill a few hours together chatting.

I suppose I really should change my sleep schedule back to normal, but I guess the bottom line is that my life isn't really all that normal right now. Why modify my sleep schedule when my life is so out of whack? I mean, I know that there are people out there who will tell me that I just need to get back to a normal cycle because that will help normalize my life, but the fact of the matter is that that's just not true. My life isn't going to be normal because there's nothing normal about me right now. I suppose sleep weirdness stays until life weirdness goes.

Wake Up Laughing

Last night, something happened to me that's never happened before. I was dozing off, and I started to dream. I don't remember what I was dreaming about now, but it was funny because I woke myself up with laughter. I don't know if any of you have ever done that, Readers, but it's awesome. It feels fundamentally, irreproachably great.

My husband asked me what I was laughing about. I'm sure that I told him about my dream, but I can't remember what I said. It was just a quick dream. If I recall, it involved music and video games. But that's about all I know. He said I was strange, which I'm inclined to agree with. But then we had a dialogue that I do remember quite clearly which makes me laugh on the inside.

JJ: I shouldn't really be surprised. You talk in your sleep every now and again.
Me: I do? Really?
JJ: Yeah.
Me: What kind of stuff do I say?
JJ: Mostly, you just say "no."
Me: Haha! Really?!
JJ: Yeah.
Me: Do I say it with an attitude or something?
JJ: Is there ever a time that you don't say no with an attitude, Jessica?
Me: Fair enough, sir.

Even in my sleep, I will get snarky with people and tell them off. Good times!

Last Night

Things have been busy lately, but I thought I'd sneak in a quick update before I get started with working here. I'm in the middle of eating left-over veggies from last night (peas and carrots--like the peas, hate the carrots), so  I have a little bit of time to stall.

While I did actually sleep last night, I kept having strange dreams. I had a dream that I was pregnant, but that I didn't find out until I was like five months along--which, clearly, is past the point of no return on some decisions. I think it's lack of options that panics me about it. I've always said that I'd never choose an abortion for myself despite the feeling that all women ought to be able to choose it if they want, but not being able to choose it if I needed to makes me uneasy. I also dreamed about fighting with AW. Then, I dreamed about fighting with my husband. My subconscious was in the middle of a mad struggle last night!

If I'm not stressing about money, jobs, grades, and whatever else, I have to start stressing about what my brain is trying to tell me deep down?! What's this crap, body? What?! On the upside, I got some decent sleep for once, so that's nice.