This week's activities:
-test tomorrow in Statistics (MTH 213)
-test Monday in Literature (ENG 200)
-test Tuesday in Inorganic/Organic Chemistry (CHM 115)
-consultation with the oral surgeon on Monday
Yikes. I'm too busy! Someone save me from college!
Seriously though, the only thing I'm really really not looking forward to will be the trip to the oral surgeon. Not just because it's going to be horrifying and I hate dental work in general, but also because it's going to cost copious amounts of money. Yuck.
In general, however, life is going fairly well. The husband is somewhat moody today. I'm going to chalk it up to today being his time of the month and attempt to be forgiving.
The Halloween Alternative is going fairly well for student government so far. We've got some good planning going, and we have our budget set. JJ and I will be helping Nicole make the food, and Brad has the haunted house portion all to himself which thrills him. So far, the division of labor has been really great. I don't feel too stressed, which is a bit unusual for me where student government is involved.
I don't have much time now because I have to study for this math exam. I'll write more later, when the exam is in the past!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
After The Weekend
JJ and I spent a much-needed weekend recuperating after a truly hellish week. JJ even decided to skip class on Sunday so that we could rest up. Much to my chagrin, we both accomplished very little in the way of homework. We did, however, spend plenty of time watching television and cuddling in bed. This was very necessary, even if it sounds like it wasn't.
On Saturday, we had a birthday party to attend. One of our friends, Amanda, had turned 21--making us feel terribly old, of course--so we had a little thing for her. There was alcohol and a bonfire, friends and music. A good time was had by all, even Amie's drunk brother who fell when he tried to walk across the fire pit--a moment that made everyone gasp in horror. He was fine.
Apart from that, we did very little this weekend. Things have been so stressful for the both of us lately that it's become difficult to even function. I'm behind in schoolwork, student government work, actual work. There is so little that I am not behind in that it makes me sick. I mean, I realize that there are only so many hours in the day, but I'm tired of all of my wakeful ones being dedicated to playing some form of catch-up or another. Even during our "rest" weekend, we caught up on room-cleaning and paper-sorting. I still feel like we accomplished very little.
On a positive note, one my friends had her baby! How exciting to welcome a new little one to the world! Congratulations, Dawn!
I apologize for the brevity of this post. I have literature homework to do before class tonight.
On Saturday, we had a birthday party to attend. One of our friends, Amanda, had turned 21--making us feel terribly old, of course--so we had a little thing for her. There was alcohol and a bonfire, friends and music. A good time was had by all, even Amie's drunk brother who fell when he tried to walk across the fire pit--a moment that made everyone gasp in horror. He was fine.
Apart from that, we did very little this weekend. Things have been so stressful for the both of us lately that it's become difficult to even function. I'm behind in schoolwork, student government work, actual work. There is so little that I am not behind in that it makes me sick. I mean, I realize that there are only so many hours in the day, but I'm tired of all of my wakeful ones being dedicated to playing some form of catch-up or another. Even during our "rest" weekend, we caught up on room-cleaning and paper-sorting. I still feel like we accomplished very little.
On a positive note, one my friends had her baby! How exciting to welcome a new little one to the world! Congratulations, Dawn!
I apologize for the brevity of this post. I have literature homework to do before class tonight.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Past Wishes
All the blogging that I have done recently has reminded me of why, when I was a child, I wanted to be a writer. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing the fruits of your labors, paragraphs and sentences, upon a printed page. Or, in my case, a web page. It's gratifying, feeling like you've actually accomplished something.
The only problem is that I am not a writer. I am not suited to be a writer. I'm not cohesive, and my ideas don't flow well. I have a hard time staying on topic, and my writing is full of digression. You know how you feel when you're a little kid and you draw a picture, then every one tells you that your picture is great and your mom hangs it on the fridge, but then you see it next to another picture and you realize that it really isn't that great and people were just lying to you to make you feel good about yourself? That's like me and writing.
I can tell that this day is going to be full of crap already. Work has been hectic already, I'm in a foul mood because I had to leave my bed, and the coffee place on campus only had French soda and not Italian soda. (Italian soda is light and crisp and made with sparkling water or something of the sort and a flavored syrup. French soda is a watery, milky concoction that resembles what would happen if you put water in your milkshake. It is also not carbonated, so it's not really a soda at all.)
I just hope that my lab experiment goes well. I cannot handle another botched Chemistry experiment. I love chemistry, but the hardest part for me is the lab because I'm always so nervous that I'm not doing it right. At least my lab partner is nice. Lubna has probably never said a mean word to anyone in her life. She's petite and intelligent and quiet. I like her very much.
At any rate, I'll write more later.
The only problem is that I am not a writer. I am not suited to be a writer. I'm not cohesive, and my ideas don't flow well. I have a hard time staying on topic, and my writing is full of digression. You know how you feel when you're a little kid and you draw a picture, then every one tells you that your picture is great and your mom hangs it on the fridge, but then you see it next to another picture and you realize that it really isn't that great and people were just lying to you to make you feel good about yourself? That's like me and writing.
I can tell that this day is going to be full of crap already. Work has been hectic already, I'm in a foul mood because I had to leave my bed, and the coffee place on campus only had French soda and not Italian soda. (Italian soda is light and crisp and made with sparkling water or something of the sort and a flavored syrup. French soda is a watery, milky concoction that resembles what would happen if you put water in your milkshake. It is also not carbonated, so it's not really a soda at all.)
I just hope that my lab experiment goes well. I cannot handle another botched Chemistry experiment. I love chemistry, but the hardest part for me is the lab because I'm always so nervous that I'm not doing it right. At least my lab partner is nice. Lubna has probably never said a mean word to anyone in her life. She's petite and intelligent and quiet. I like her very much.
At any rate, I'll write more later.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
On Sleeping Well
After yesterday's botched attempt (read: EpicFail) at becoming more technology friendly, I had a bit of an ego bruising. In fact, I have resolved to brush it off and accept that I will never be--nor do I ever plan to take lessons to formally become--tech friendly. Paper appeals to me more than computer screen, pen more than mouse or keyboard. The turning of a page will always be more gratifying to me than the soft click of a Kindle's buttons.
Last night, I had literature class. I read all four stories and, happily, I felt like I understood many of the themes presented therein. Kafka and Borges are hard to read. One of the stories, "The Theologians," I found very dense and difficult. I felt like I was missing too many subtleties because I wasn't understanding the references in the story to other works. Then, come to find out in class, Borges liked to make up works so that he could reference them, summarize them briefly, and play off their "themes" to make some kind of point. I wasn't missing anything at all, I was just getting hung up on my feelings of inferiority.
Still, when we discussed the stories in class, I felt like I was really extrapolating a lot from the stories that no one else mentioned. In "The Secret Miracle," it opens up talking about a game of chess. I focused a lot on that. Chess is a game of strategy. The character we focus on seems to be a pawn in the Germans' strategy for Prague. In fact, we are told that he is to be killed to set an example for others. The chess thing seemed so important to me, but no one else even mentioned it. Even the instructors didn't bring it up. Now I feel, more than ever, like I'm grasping at straws.
Perhaps I spend too much time and energy focusing on the minutiae to really see the larger pictures. And people think I should be an English major! HA!
Thus was how I returned home last night. Disappointed in myself. Irritated. Feeling like I was really blind to the bigger picture. I was, thankfully, saved by the arrival of our new bed. It had come during the day and was set up by the men who delivered it. All we had to do was toss on a sheet and go! Our lives were made even easier by the fact that, before arriving home, we stopped and got McDonald's. Not healthy, I know, but we needed something fast and easy. At 9 PM in the Swanton/Delta area, it's McDonald's or Wendy's, and we are sick of Wendy's. There was also Subway, but we eat far too much of that at school to ever want it outside of the Owens Community College campus.
I have to say that the bed was quite comfortable. It's probably the best money I've ever spent. Granted, it takes up over 1/4 of our room, but the loss in space was worth the gain in comfort. I have never sat still for so long in all of my life. I had a very restful sleep, which is a brand new experience again considering that we had our old bed for so long. This bed is quiet and firm but soft--something like a marshmallow. It's squishy to a point, but not unnaturally squishy. Our old bed was creaky, saggy, and got kind of lumpy towards the end there. It was a good mattress while it lasted. We had some good times, but this upgrade was amazing. I've never before bought anything so thoroughly worth every penny. And when you stop to consider that the total cost of this purchase adds up to 141212 pennies, that's a lot of value.
My husband tells me that I spent the entirety of last night snoring my face off. I hope he's right. I got some quality sleep! I haven't slept so well in quite some time, especially not since we'd gotten rid of our box spring on the old mattress and opted to just sleep on the floor. Sleeping is a luxury, the enjoyment of which I have not been afforded in quite some time. I was really grateful last night and really reluctant to get up this morning.
If only I were back in that bed of mine right now...
Last night, I had literature class. I read all four stories and, happily, I felt like I understood many of the themes presented therein. Kafka and Borges are hard to read. One of the stories, "The Theologians," I found very dense and difficult. I felt like I was missing too many subtleties because I wasn't understanding the references in the story to other works. Then, come to find out in class, Borges liked to make up works so that he could reference them, summarize them briefly, and play off their "themes" to make some kind of point. I wasn't missing anything at all, I was just getting hung up on my feelings of inferiority.
Still, when we discussed the stories in class, I felt like I was really extrapolating a lot from the stories that no one else mentioned. In "The Secret Miracle," it opens up talking about a game of chess. I focused a lot on that. Chess is a game of strategy. The character we focus on seems to be a pawn in the Germans' strategy for Prague. In fact, we are told that he is to be killed to set an example for others. The chess thing seemed so important to me, but no one else even mentioned it. Even the instructors didn't bring it up. Now I feel, more than ever, like I'm grasping at straws.
Perhaps I spend too much time and energy focusing on the minutiae to really see the larger pictures. And people think I should be an English major! HA!
Thus was how I returned home last night. Disappointed in myself. Irritated. Feeling like I was really blind to the bigger picture. I was, thankfully, saved by the arrival of our new bed. It had come during the day and was set up by the men who delivered it. All we had to do was toss on a sheet and go! Our lives were made even easier by the fact that, before arriving home, we stopped and got McDonald's. Not healthy, I know, but we needed something fast and easy. At 9 PM in the Swanton/Delta area, it's McDonald's or Wendy's, and we are sick of Wendy's. There was also Subway, but we eat far too much of that at school to ever want it outside of the Owens Community College campus.
I have to say that the bed was quite comfortable. It's probably the best money I've ever spent. Granted, it takes up over 1/4 of our room, but the loss in space was worth the gain in comfort. I have never sat still for so long in all of my life. I had a very restful sleep, which is a brand new experience again considering that we had our old bed for so long. This bed is quiet and firm but soft--something like a marshmallow. It's squishy to a point, but not unnaturally squishy. Our old bed was creaky, saggy, and got kind of lumpy towards the end there. It was a good mattress while it lasted. We had some good times, but this upgrade was amazing. I've never before bought anything so thoroughly worth every penny. And when you stop to consider that the total cost of this purchase adds up to 141212 pennies, that's a lot of value.
My husband tells me that I spent the entirety of last night snoring my face off. I hope he's right. I got some quality sleep! I haven't slept so well in quite some time, especially not since we'd gotten rid of our box spring on the old mattress and opted to just sleep on the floor. Sleeping is a luxury, the enjoyment of which I have not been afforded in quite some time. I was really grateful last night and really reluctant to get up this morning.
If only I were back in that bed of mine right now...
Monday, September 21, 2009
Forget it!
Yeah...about this bright idea of mine to use Webmaster Tools...I think we can go ahead and scrap that one.
This is waaaay too complicated for me to master. Let's just go ahead and chalk this up to a learning experience. -1 points for me due to lacking ambition.
This is waaaay too complicated for me to master. Let's just go ahead and chalk this up to a learning experience. -1 points for me due to lacking ambition.
Efforts Towards Technology
In an effort to be more technologically savvy, I have done some things to try and boost my techy knowledge. For one thing, I added Webmaster Tools to this blog, so I can monitor traffic--more or less just because I think it would be fun, not because it's of any real use to anyone. The whole Webmaster Tools site isn't very user friendly though. I can't figure out if it's more due to my personal incompetence about anything concerning more than the simplest of layouts or whether it's because the site reads like stereo instructions. I am contemplating abandoning this ridiculous notion completely. Thoughts? Live in total ignorance of all things HTML or learn something that I'll never use beyond this silly blog that probably no one reads anyways?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
FINALLY! A New Bed!
My husband and I have finally been able to go and purchase a new bed! Yes, that's right, my sleepless nights are soon to be over! Woo Hoo!
If you know my husband and I, you know that we are not tiny people by any stretch of the imagination. Pre-new-bed (or B.B.), we had a full size bed. Each night has been a constant battle between us to be the one who wakes up without an appendage or ass hanging off the side of the bed. Alas, I am typically the loser of this battle. Plus, our box spring basically broke into barely-hanging-together pieces. Also not a good thing. I am hoping all of this will change post-new-bed (or A.B.).
The bed that we purchased is a king size Durango, which is a firm mattress with pocketed coils (read: heaven!), from Denver Mattress. We did some comparison shopping to find the best price, and I am shocked to announce that the winner was actually Denver Mattress. (It almost seems counter-intuitive, you know?) We ended up getting a great deal. It helped that the mattress was on sale for $100 off the sticker price. Not to mention that, out of nothing but sheer shock that we actually returned as promised, the saleswoman applied a bunch of coupons for money off the frame and the delivery.
For the meager price of $1,145, we got all of the following:
The other thing that I really noticed was that the staff didn't pressure us to make our decision. She asked us pertinent questions. She gave us really good advice about what kind of products we might like. There was no high-pressure sales technique. When we told her that we were just looking and wanted to shop around, she was very nice about it and gave us her card. She helped us find what we wanted. When we came back, we got to work with the same person--the other sales guy specifically got her for us when we said she had helped us last time. She was polite and courteous; we never once felt uncomfortable. I have to give them credit. She knew the answer to every question that we asked, she knew exactly where to guide us.
In other news, my wisdom tooth swelling has gone down. The antibiotics seem to be doing their work. The downside is what they do to my tummy. I don't know if you, reader, are experienced with serious antibiotics. They are awful. They do horrible things to your body because they destroy the body's normal microbiota too. The warnings on this medication are both ominous and horrifying. For example:
Nice. If that doesn't scare the bejeezus out of you, it should. Here's why. And I'm taking Clindamycin, which is one of the antibiotics that can pseudomembranous colitis. Awesome.
Am I a little displeased by this? The answer is yes. There a whole lot I can do about it? The answer is no. I'll just have to tough it out and be careful. Like really really careful. Yikes.
If you know my husband and I, you know that we are not tiny people by any stretch of the imagination. Pre-new-bed (or B.B.), we had a full size bed. Each night has been a constant battle between us to be the one who wakes up without an appendage or ass hanging off the side of the bed. Alas, I am typically the loser of this battle. Plus, our box spring basically broke into barely-hanging-together pieces. Also not a good thing. I am hoping all of this will change post-new-bed (or A.B.).
The bed that we purchased is a king size Durango, which is a firm mattress with pocketed coils (read: heaven!), from Denver Mattress. We did some comparison shopping to find the best price, and I am shocked to announce that the winner was actually Denver Mattress. (It almost seems counter-intuitive, you know?) We ended up getting a great deal. It helped that the mattress was on sale for $100 off the sticker price. Not to mention that, out of nothing but sheer shock that we actually returned as promised, the saleswoman applied a bunch of coupons for money off the frame and the delivery.
For the meager price of $1,145, we got all of the following:
- a king size Durango mattress--with pocket coil system so we don't have to piss each other off
- the equivalent of a box spring--for mattresses of this magnitude, Denver Mattress provides a steel box, essentially, which they call a "foundation"
- an Iso-cool mattress pad--which has a special wax in it to keep the temperature cooler
- 2 King size firm pillows
- a preservation and cleaning kit
- a frame to place the mattress and foundation upon
- home delivery and set-up--yes, that's right, they'll come in and set it up for us
The other thing that I really noticed was that the staff didn't pressure us to make our decision. She asked us pertinent questions. She gave us really good advice about what kind of products we might like. There was no high-pressure sales technique. When we told her that we were just looking and wanted to shop around, she was very nice about it and gave us her card. She helped us find what we wanted. When we came back, we got to work with the same person--the other sales guy specifically got her for us when we said she had helped us last time. She was polite and courteous; we never once felt uncomfortable. I have to give them credit. She knew the answer to every question that we asked, she knew exactly where to guide us.
In other news, my wisdom tooth swelling has gone down. The antibiotics seem to be doing their work. The downside is what they do to my tummy. I don't know if you, reader, are experienced with serious antibiotics. They are awful. They do horrible things to your body because they destroy the body's normal microbiota too. The warnings on this medication are both ominous and horrifying. For example:
BEFORE USING THIS MEDICATION: WARNING: This medicine should be used only for serious infections because infrequently there are severe, rarely fatal, intestinal problems (pseudomembranous colitis) that can occur.
Nice. If that doesn't scare the bejeezus out of you, it should. Here's why. And I'm taking Clindamycin, which is one of the antibiotics that can pseudomembranous colitis. Awesome.
Am I a little displeased by this? The answer is yes. There a whole lot I can do about it? The answer is no. I'll just have to tough it out and be careful. Like really really careful. Yikes.
Friday, September 18, 2009
A Dental Update
I had my dentist's appointment yesterday. It went startlingly quickly! I had assumed that I would have to wait a long time and that I wouldn't get back to school in time for IO Chem. This was not the case at all!
My appointment was set for 12:15 PM, apparently. I got to the office in Maumee at about 11:45 AM. I apologized for being super early, filled out the requisite paperwork, and requested to use the restroom. I brushed my teeth in the bathroom. When I came out, the hygienist was already waiting for me. She greeted me cordially, and she took me back to the little room with the chair.
She had seated me, at which point I took it upon myself to announce, "I'm gonna be real honest with you here, I don't do the whole dentist thing real well."
Unknown to me, the dentist had actually walked in right as I said that! He laughed and informed me that I would be fine. Then he proceeded to ask me a series of questions. How long has this pain been going on? On what side is the pain? etc, etc.
I told him that I was pretty sure that I had an infection because it had been pressure before, pain only recently. That and it was fairly swollen. He didn't even put on a glove, just looked into my mouth with the little mirror. Then, after two whole seconds--if even that--he said, "Ah, yeah, I'm inclined to agree with you. That's certainly an infection."
So they didn't really do much of anything at this appointment. They gave me a prescription for an antibiotic, they took some x-rays, and they gave me a referral to an oral surgeon. Dr. Biniker told me that he recommends that I have the four wisdom teeth removed all at once and that I be put under anesthesia for the procedure. With this, I agree whole-heartedly. In fact, I'd rather be under than awake. I don't handle dental procedures well. It would be easier mentally for me to just be sleeping.
I called the office of the oral surgeon today to schedule my consultation. They were very nice. Unfortunately, the first available appointment date is, of course, my birthday. So, on my birthday, when I should be celebrating, I'll be at an oral surgeon's office, dreading my future. Apparently, my appointment is with Dr. McCabe, whose biography on the practice's website boasts an impressive 20 years in dentistry. Hopefully, he will be VERY understanding.
I have to admit, the notion of oral surgery coupled with all the things that could go horribly wrong scares the crap out of me. Really. No good. I'm hoping the doctor will be the wonderful man I'm sure he can be and prescribe me copious amounts of Valium...or Xanax. Xanax would be cool too.
My appointment was set for 12:15 PM, apparently. I got to the office in Maumee at about 11:45 AM. I apologized for being super early, filled out the requisite paperwork, and requested to use the restroom. I brushed my teeth in the bathroom. When I came out, the hygienist was already waiting for me. She greeted me cordially, and she took me back to the little room with the chair.
She had seated me, at which point I took it upon myself to announce, "I'm gonna be real honest with you here, I don't do the whole dentist thing real well."
Unknown to me, the dentist had actually walked in right as I said that! He laughed and informed me that I would be fine. Then he proceeded to ask me a series of questions. How long has this pain been going on? On what side is the pain? etc, etc.
I told him that I was pretty sure that I had an infection because it had been pressure before, pain only recently. That and it was fairly swollen. He didn't even put on a glove, just looked into my mouth with the little mirror. Then, after two whole seconds--if even that--he said, "Ah, yeah, I'm inclined to agree with you. That's certainly an infection."
So they didn't really do much of anything at this appointment. They gave me a prescription for an antibiotic, they took some x-rays, and they gave me a referral to an oral surgeon. Dr. Biniker told me that he recommends that I have the four wisdom teeth removed all at once and that I be put under anesthesia for the procedure. With this, I agree whole-heartedly. In fact, I'd rather be under than awake. I don't handle dental procedures well. It would be easier mentally for me to just be sleeping.
I called the office of the oral surgeon today to schedule my consultation. They were very nice. Unfortunately, the first available appointment date is, of course, my birthday. So, on my birthday, when I should be celebrating, I'll be at an oral surgeon's office, dreading my future. Apparently, my appointment is with Dr. McCabe, whose biography on the practice's website boasts an impressive 20 years in dentistry. Hopefully, he will be VERY understanding.
I have to admit, the notion of oral surgery coupled with all the things that could go horribly wrong scares the crap out of me. Really. No good. I'm hoping the doctor will be the wonderful man I'm sure he can be and prescribe me copious amounts of Valium...or Xanax. Xanax would be cool too.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Irrational Fears
So, today is the day of my dental appointment. Hopefully, they will give me some antibiotics and we can make some choices about the future of my dental health from there. All I know is that I want this pain to be done now. It's been a little over half a week and I'm already done with it.
I must admit, however, I have a somewhat irrational fear of the dentist here. The first most important notion is that I'm leaving work to go to the dentist. My appointment is at 12:15 PM, and I have a class that starts at 2:00 PM. I'm a little worried that I'll be late or miss my class entirely. Considering that it's going to be Inorganic and Organic Chemistry that I'll miss, I'm somewhat nonplussed about this idea.
Secondly, I'm worried based on an experience that I had with a dentist back in Indiana. Typically, I had one particular hygienist because she was very good and very kind. The one fucking time that I ever got someone else, she tried to scrape the enamel off of my teeth. I have pocked enamel as a result of not getting enough calcium in the womb. From what I understand, this is fairly common for twins. Apparently, this hygienist was too stupid to know what pocks in enamel are and that you can't fucking scrape them off. To make a long story short, one my front teeth--of course the front, where could they be more visible, after all?--still has a series of scrapes across its surface that are clearly visible. I don't want to have a replay of this ridiculous event.
However, I am going to take a step in the right direction from the first moment. I'll begin by apologizing for myself in advance. I'll say, "I'm normally a very pleasant person, but gross amounts of pain do ugly things to me. Needless to say, I am not a very pleasant person today." Then I'll tell them about my scraping problem and how it has scared me off of dentistry in a fundamental way, and I'm hoping that they'll help to change my mind.
There's something almost evil about the field of dentistry. For example, you need to have sensitive hygienist and a sensitive dentist in order to have a positive experience, especially if you are like me and scared to death of pain and what they can do to you. (Every time I hear the drill, my body tenses up, and I start to panic just a little bit.) However, the problem here is that the kind of dentists that people like my husband and I can afford are the kind that don't really care about your needs because they're awfully bitter that they can't make the kind of money they'd love to be making. Nobody gets into dentistry because they love teeth and people, finding that dentistry is a perfect marriage of the two. No. They get into dentistry because they're pretty sure that they can make exorbitant amounts of money in the field.
I am absolutely certain that I'm saying all of this out of bitterness for the fact that I'm poor and dental work is expensive. However, as far as my experience goes, the dentists and hygienists that were most sensitive to my needs and willing to work with me were the ones at the expensive dental offices--the kind that make a crown a thousand dollar affair. Of course, these are the dental offices that I certainly can't afford to pay for now.
All I know is that this is going to end expensively and possibly painfully. I am not happy. And, as the hour approaches, I get more and more nervous. What if I miss my class? What if I have to stay like all day for extensive work? What if they tell me that I'll need tons more work than this and I'll have to come back repeatedly? What if it hurts and they won't do anything to remedy that? What if they won't let me have my MP3 player on? There's a sea of negative thought going on in my head right now, none of which is helping.
Let's hope I don't freak out big time. I'll update later about how it went, but I don't have very high hopes.
I must admit, however, I have a somewhat irrational fear of the dentist here. The first most important notion is that I'm leaving work to go to the dentist. My appointment is at 12:15 PM, and I have a class that starts at 2:00 PM. I'm a little worried that I'll be late or miss my class entirely. Considering that it's going to be Inorganic and Organic Chemistry that I'll miss, I'm somewhat nonplussed about this idea.
Secondly, I'm worried based on an experience that I had with a dentist back in Indiana. Typically, I had one particular hygienist because she was very good and very kind. The one fucking time that I ever got someone else, she tried to scrape the enamel off of my teeth. I have pocked enamel as a result of not getting enough calcium in the womb. From what I understand, this is fairly common for twins. Apparently, this hygienist was too stupid to know what pocks in enamel are and that you can't fucking scrape them off. To make a long story short, one my front teeth--of course the front, where could they be more visible, after all?--still has a series of scrapes across its surface that are clearly visible. I don't want to have a replay of this ridiculous event.
However, I am going to take a step in the right direction from the first moment. I'll begin by apologizing for myself in advance. I'll say, "I'm normally a very pleasant person, but gross amounts of pain do ugly things to me. Needless to say, I am not a very pleasant person today." Then I'll tell them about my scraping problem and how it has scared me off of dentistry in a fundamental way, and I'm hoping that they'll help to change my mind.
There's something almost evil about the field of dentistry. For example, you need to have sensitive hygienist and a sensitive dentist in order to have a positive experience, especially if you are like me and scared to death of pain and what they can do to you. (Every time I hear the drill, my body tenses up, and I start to panic just a little bit.) However, the problem here is that the kind of dentists that people like my husband and I can afford are the kind that don't really care about your needs because they're awfully bitter that they can't make the kind of money they'd love to be making. Nobody gets into dentistry because they love teeth and people, finding that dentistry is a perfect marriage of the two. No. They get into dentistry because they're pretty sure that they can make exorbitant amounts of money in the field.
I am absolutely certain that I'm saying all of this out of bitterness for the fact that I'm poor and dental work is expensive. However, as far as my experience goes, the dentists and hygienists that were most sensitive to my needs and willing to work with me were the ones at the expensive dental offices--the kind that make a crown a thousand dollar affair. Of course, these are the dental offices that I certainly can't afford to pay for now.
All I know is that this is going to end expensively and possibly painfully. I am not happy. And, as the hour approaches, I get more and more nervous. What if I miss my class? What if I have to stay like all day for extensive work? What if they tell me that I'll need tons more work than this and I'll have to come back repeatedly? What if it hurts and they won't do anything to remedy that? What if they won't let me have my MP3 player on? There's a sea of negative thought going on in my head right now, none of which is helping.
Let's hope I don't freak out big time. I'll update later about how it went, but I don't have very high hopes.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Another Pain Update
I'm still in pain from this whole tooth thing. I have to say, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd rate it at about a 6. Too annoying to ignore. Not life threatening or so bad that I'm going to freak out and scream, but painful enough to warrant tears after a long day of trying to cope with it. Painful enough that I don't want to talk--which is a big indicator that I'm in real pain.
Of course, going so far as to say it's a 6 makes me feel melodramatic. I mean, I'm sure there's worse pain than this in the world. I'm sure, in fact, that I'm not the first nor the last person to ever have to face the horrors of a wisdom tooth. I mean, I'm not letting it stop my life. I'm still going to work, still going to class. It just makes the entire experience a true horror.
I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm a pleasant person, but I'm usually at least cordial. This pain just makes me want to grimace at people and say nothing. It hurts to laugh. It hurts to swallow. It hurts to sit still. All I feel is the swollen throbbing.
The worst part is know that I have to take care of this at some point. I'll have to get them removed or get antibiotics or something, but I haven't got the money to spare for it right now. In the midst of all of this is our family's financial crisis. I have to support our family of five with only my husband's and my income--which is rather pathetic, to say the very least. (To put it in fiscal perspective, he and I each only make $7.30 an hour, and because we are student workers we are not permitted to work over 35 hours per week. Generally, barring shift coverage, I have a 31 hour week, and JJ has a 30 hour week. You do the math. Don't forget the taxes we pay, either.) This doesn't even take into account how expensive my mother's medications are. We do get some minor help from the state in the form of food stamps, but they don't give us the kind of real help that we need. And, at the end of the month, it is ridiculously apparent how little we truly have.
We need to downsize, but we can't. We need more money, but we don't have it. Most of all, we need jobs. My mother couldn't get a job if she wanted to because of all the medications she's on and what they do to her body. My little brother has been looking, but I'm not sure that he's really looking in earnest. My father is looking and has been for the last few months. The problem is that IT is a fickle field, and young students are willing to do my dad's work for half the pay with less than half the experience, which employers seem to find acceptable.
It's more than just me being cheap. It's me being afraid of losing everything because I didn't work hard enough to save it for my family by keeping the bills paid, and my dental bills would ruin all my hard-fought efforts for at least a month, if not two. This would be much too great a set-back. (On some level, I realize that it's not all my fault or my responsibility, but I'm doing everything I can because no one else is even trying.)
I don't really know what's going to give first, my purse or my tooth, by I'm not really all that anxious to find out. At any rate, I have found out that I have a dentist appointment on Thursday at 12:00 PM. I'm not looking forward to the bills, but I really truly need the relief. I can't really stand this much longer.
On a completely unrelated note, I hate using bent paperclips. In fact, I hate bent paperclips in general.
Of course, going so far as to say it's a 6 makes me feel melodramatic. I mean, I'm sure there's worse pain than this in the world. I'm sure, in fact, that I'm not the first nor the last person to ever have to face the horrors of a wisdom tooth. I mean, I'm not letting it stop my life. I'm still going to work, still going to class. It just makes the entire experience a true horror.
I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm a pleasant person, but I'm usually at least cordial. This pain just makes me want to grimace at people and say nothing. It hurts to laugh. It hurts to swallow. It hurts to sit still. All I feel is the swollen throbbing.
The worst part is know that I have to take care of this at some point. I'll have to get them removed or get antibiotics or something, but I haven't got the money to spare for it right now. In the midst of all of this is our family's financial crisis. I have to support our family of five with only my husband's and my income--which is rather pathetic, to say the very least. (To put it in fiscal perspective, he and I each only make $7.30 an hour, and because we are student workers we are not permitted to work over 35 hours per week. Generally, barring shift coverage, I have a 31 hour week, and JJ has a 30 hour week. You do the math. Don't forget the taxes we pay, either.) This doesn't even take into account how expensive my mother's medications are. We do get some minor help from the state in the form of food stamps, but they don't give us the kind of real help that we need. And, at the end of the month, it is ridiculously apparent how little we truly have.
We need to downsize, but we can't. We need more money, but we don't have it. Most of all, we need jobs. My mother couldn't get a job if she wanted to because of all the medications she's on and what they do to her body. My little brother has been looking, but I'm not sure that he's really looking in earnest. My father is looking and has been for the last few months. The problem is that IT is a fickle field, and young students are willing to do my dad's work for half the pay with less than half the experience, which employers seem to find acceptable.
It's more than just me being cheap. It's me being afraid of losing everything because I didn't work hard enough to save it for my family by keeping the bills paid, and my dental bills would ruin all my hard-fought efforts for at least a month, if not two. This would be much too great a set-back. (On some level, I realize that it's not all my fault or my responsibility, but I'm doing everything I can because no one else is even trying.)
I don't really know what's going to give first, my purse or my tooth, by I'm not really all that anxious to find out. At any rate, I have found out that I have a dentist appointment on Thursday at 12:00 PM. I'm not looking forward to the bills, but I really truly need the relief. I can't really stand this much longer.
On a completely unrelated note, I hate using bent paperclips. In fact, I hate bent paperclips in general.
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