Seems Like I'm Headed for a Disaster

I'm going to be annoyingly vague here. I'm headed for a disaster in a big way because I'm not sure what I'm thinking. At any rate, I'm pretty sure it's going to end badly for me. And, for the record, fuck you, Nick, for being right...I hate you.

Eight Hours of Boredom (And a Little Bit of Reflection)

So, in an effort to make easier the lives of community college students in the Northwest Ohio area, Owens has decided to be open for four days during Spring break. I am scheduled for shifts during three of these days, today being one of them. I think it's great we're finally doing this for our students, and I'm glad to have the hours to make the break a little less detrimental to my pocketbook. The drawback, however, is that it's basically dead in here.

I'm not sure that as many students really knew that we would be open. Thus, we have had few students take advantage. Good for me and my general love of laziness. Bad for me and my general love of being entertained.

As a result, I have been good friends with the Internet today. I have tweeted excessively. I have returned e-mails. I have updated Facebook status messages and posted links. I have commented, commented, commented on other people's thoughts, links, statuses, etc. I checked out the new Post Secret updates. I checked out Failblog. I caught up on the blogs that I follow. I watched an episode of Community on NBC's website. (Of course, just as I was putting my headphones away from watching it is when the boss comes out of her office to take a peek at how many students are in the room. And, of course, I end up looking like the cat who ate the canary because I'm caught in the act of putting my headphones away! I realize we weren't busy and she may not have cared, but I hate looking guilty. I only had one headphone in and we had no students! I was paying attention!)

Of course, all of this gives me a new appreciation for modern technology. What would I have done if not for my laptop? I'd have been bored off my rocker! I'd have had to resort to doodling or scribbling a stupid story or something. I mean, odds are fair that I would have been prepared and had a book or something, but the point is that the potential for even more boredom was on my mind. I can hardly imagine what people used to do before a few seconds and clicks unlocked the world at their fingertips.

Think back. Do you remember when studying relied on actual books, and you had to use the card system at the library? I do. I wonder what it will be like when I have to explain that, once upon a time, not everything was available on a computer to my children. Will they understand that? Will the concept of paper books and calling cards and the Dewey decimal system be as obscure a set of concepts to them as the idea of records are to some members of my generation? Will sending a letter in the post be as foreign to them as lacking air conditioning or heating is to me? (Truly, I cannot imagine a life without heating in the winter. I mean, air condition I've lived with out, but heat?! What did people do?!--and don't say they lit fires thinking you're witty. I can at least form that thought all by my lonesome.)

I realize that many other bloggers have probably already thrown out this old song and dance, but it's a concept that still amazes me. We're such a digital world these days. I'm 24 and sometimes it's difficult for me to keep up with technology when you consider the speed with which it is updated or released these days. I can't imagine how out of the loop I'll feel in 20 years, 30 years, 40 years. You know, most of my generation finds it annoying to be asked to set the clock on Grandma's out-of-date VCR, but I sort of get why people are resistant to that kind of change. After a while, I think you just get burned out. It's so much work to keep up with all of that stuff!! At some point, I think you have to decide that you've had enough of trying to keep up with it all and just live with what you have.

I'm pretty sure that, someday, I'll be the grandmother asking her poor, sighing grandchild to show her how to use that new-fangled computer/cell phone/fax/printer/copier/PDA/kitchen sink. And, when that happens, I'll explain to that grandchild that, once upon a time, I was a trendy blogger with a cool phone and a sweet new laptop--even though I'm sure they won't believe me. Worse, I'm sure that blogging will be passe and laptops a thing of the past. My current coolness will be uncool in its obscurity. It's enough to make me want to quit keeping up right now! Too bad I know that I can't be competitive in the job market if I don't know what I'm doing on the technological front.

At least I had cool stuff once...

Productive? Well, That's Semantics...

I had a mildly productive day today. I was able to take out the last stitch on my hand--and believe me, it feels much better with that last one gone! JJ and I sorted through the twisted wreckage that used to be our school books and the contents of our Volvo's trunk area. I filed my federal taxes online. All in all, a semi-productive day!

I was surprised that some of my books did manage to make it out of the mess okay. Of course, it was only the books that were in the rolling backpack that totally mangled. Some of them made it out in a decent condition, so I'll be able to give back the editions that were loaned to me by those who care about me. Yay! It's weird to think about having to do that though. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a great amount of your belongings. It was hard work to just sort through the few things that I had lost. It gives me a new respect for people who live through natural disasters and fires. It's got to be so hard to look at the twisted remains of a home and face the knowledge that you have lost everything.

The best part of my day, however, happened to be when I caught up on my missed episodes of Community--that's right, I'm lightening the mood right now. I loved the naked pool episode, but I'm pretty sure that Jeff was waaaaay too non-reactive when the naked coach kissed him! (Am I seriously over analyzing a comedy on NBC? Awesome...) Thank God for DVR and OnDemand, otherwise I'd never get to see Community, House, or Big Love. Oh, schedule, why are you so cruel to me?! Will I never rest!?

It was just a nice, low-key kind of day. It's pretty depressing to think that I work straight through until March 20th, though. Damn you, Spring Break, and your tendency to lull me into a false sense of restfulness! Damn you again, schedule, for screwing me over big time! At any rate, I have a full week and a full paycheck to look forward to. Yay, money!

P.S. My new laptop rocks!

Back in the State of Ohio

Well, we have returned from our brief trip to Indiana. It was nice to have had a break from the routines of our life and our responsibilities. We had plenty of fun with JJ's family and my family. Returning, however, makes me sad!

Indiana and I have a love-hate relationship. Just when I think I'm basically over the idea of living there, we have a really great trip and I change my mind. Really, I think what it is is that I'm just not a huge fan of not having the comforts of home with me. If I had my bed and all my stuff, I'd probably be alright. Plus, I think I really miss my friends. It was nice to reconnect with a bunch of them.

At any rate, we are recovering well from our accident. I had some CRAZY bruises that didn't surface until days afterward, though. My left arm looked like my husband decided to punch me repeatedly. Poor guy is going to have a lot of dirty looks flung his way, that's for sure. One good thing did come of my injuries: a free sample of lemon pound cake at Starbucks from a young man who scoped my stitches and decided to improve my day. Kudos to you, Starbucks guy at Erskine Village! Mission accomplished.

Ordinarily, I would write more, but it's getting late. My main point here: I have a sweet new laptop! Yay for pink Dell Studio 15s!

Crash!

Let me preface this post by saying the following: We're fine!

On Saturday night, when my husband, our friend Amanda, and myself were on our way to a GSA movie night, we were involved in a car accident. We were in the process of turning left onto Waverly from Dorr Street. I had moved slightly forward in order to commit to the turn. I was waiting for traffic to clear from the opposing side of the road when we were rear-ended.

We were perfectly fine one moment and then there was pain and glass all around the next. My hands were bleeding, and I couldn't find my cell phone. Luckily, other people were on the scene calling the accident in. I had started to call from Amanda's phone, but Paul's roommate Drea was there and she took the phone from me to complete the call, something that I greatly appreciated.

Before long, ambulances started to arrive along with firetrucks. I had waited in the car, figuring it was safer than standing in the street. My husband got out of the car, but Amanda also stayed in the car. The paramedics tended to my husband and Amanda, and made me stay seated, though I told them that there was glass digging into and cutting my lower back. In fact, the idiot paramedic that was assigned to me was of extremely little use. It wasn't until I said, "Hey, by the way, I'm bleeding here. Care do to something about that?!" as angrily as possible that she bothered to bandage my hand at all.

We were all taken to the hospital on back boards with neck braces strapped securely around our necks. I never saw the other driver, but I am told that she was a younger black woman. I have no idea whether she was hurt or not, but I am told that she was also taken to the hospital. Amanda was taken to Mercy Hospital, while my husband, myself, and the nameless driver were taken to Toledo Hospital.

I was treated very well there. The ER doctor checked my back manually, then opted to take a few x-rays of my lower back. She pulled several pieces of glass from my eyes. I was then moved to another room. After having been x-rayed, I was permitted to sit up. A physician's assistant then visited me to assess my wounds. She told me that my left hand would require stitches, but the rest would be fine.

While I waited for my stitches, an officer came to take my account of the accident. It went a little something like this:

Officer: How do you feel?
Me: Like shit! How about you!?
O: Well, I saw your car. Frankly, you should be feeling...well, like shit.

He asked me what happened and I summed it up for him. He told me that the only skid marks at the scene were from our car. He also told me that he was certain that she, the other driver, hadn't bothered to try to stop. We were informed that it had taken two tow-trucks to pull our cars apart in order to tow them--but in a twist of random hilarity, the Volvo was still running! (Smashed to bits, but still usable! Volvo for the win!) He told me he was pretty sure that we'd be needing to get a new car. The officer was incredibly nice to me. He told me that he hoped I'd get well soon because he had been in my shoes before.

Tons of our stuff was destroyed too. Our car was a goner, basically. All my school books were in the back, and most of them are far beyond salvation. My husband's laptop--read: his technological pride and joy--was trashed as well. He had a Nook (a Barnes & Noble electronic reader) in his bag that has a smashed screen now. Worst, he lost his glucometer to the crash, which is kind of vital to a Diabetic.

Here's an idea of how hard this lady hit us. Our Volvo is a station wagon with a hatchback. The back hatch is now touching the roof and back seat of the car. Our radio flew out of the dashboard because of the force behind the impact. Our seats flew back into the reclining position with so much force that they are now broken. Our instrument panel loosened from the dashboard and is now half-hanging from the dash. This wasn't just a teeny tiny tap, people. It was a serious hit.

Needless to say, it wasn't my idea of a great Saturday night. Sunday was spent sleeping. Monday, too, was spent mostly sleeping. Tuesday, I returned to school, but I couldn't make it the whole night. What has been most surprising about this is how tired I become after little activity. My whole body is sore. My hand with the stitches is fairly swollen, and it feels strange to move it. I have bruises all over and tiny cuts as well. My back aches, my neck won't really move all that well, and my arms are just killing me.

I am, however, trying to see the positives here. This is what I have come up with so far:

-New (to us) car
-New school books
-New laptop for my husband
-New Nook, glucometer, etc.
-My tetanus shots are up to date
-I will have a cool new scar to lie about ("Oh, this? I got into a knife fight with a Canadian prostitute. She may have stabbed me in the hand, but I cut her so bad she wishes I hadn't cut her so bad!" or better "Oh, this? I got this during my tenure in the army while fighting in the War of Northern Aggression.")
-It wasn't our fault! At all!
-Free rental car!
-We don't have to pay our own medical bills (FOR ONCE!!!)
-It's a good story to tell
-Four words: pain and suffering compensation
-Everyone turned out to be alright

These last few days have been all bruises, grimaces, and stiffness, but I'm hoping they'll pay off.

Post-Valentine's Post!

Things have been hectic but decent as of late. I'm making it this week. Next week, who knows?

In other news, very shortly, I shall no longer be chained to The Desktop that Binds. (Think of that as a fancy yet sinister title. I'm giving it a go. Seeing how it plays out. Titles, titles everywhere?) Of course, this is just a fancy way of me saying that I have broken down and opted to buy a laptop. I guess I'm tired of having to find a computer lab every time I want to check Facebook--which I do frequently--or make a blog post. I hate to say that I'm one of those people that will end up kicking and screaming and dragging her feet into the technology age, but I am that person. At least it's going to be pink.

I've had a money-spending kind of week lately! Yesterday, a friend had a Mary Kay party. Like a tool, I went and spent a bunch of money--which I luckily had to spend this week! I bought eye make-up remover, Satin Hands (awesome stuff!), the Time Wise combination skin kit, and Eyesicles in Vanilla. And, seriously, if you haven't seen these little Eyesicles things, you need to check them out! So easy and so cute! It's liquid eye shadow that you just apply with a finger and go. (Perhaps you may have noticed this about me, but life is crazy and I have no time. If it's quick, I'm into it. If it's not, I steer clear!) If I were a lesbian, I would totally be a Lipstick. :)

In my defense, you have no idea how difficult it is for me to find a facial product that works. I have a very oily T-zone, but very dry cheeks. Last time I tried a Neutrogena product, it dried out my cheeks so badly that I had to use A&D ointment on them for a week! Needless to say, I'm trying to find a product that will work for me. So far, so good on the Mary Kay front. I'm on my second day of using their combination skin Time Wise cleanser and moisturizer and it hasn't broken me out or dried me out yet--and I'm using it twice a day (morning and night, as recommended). We're waiting on using the other products until we see how well this one works out for me. I think it's going to be okay. Normally on day two of a cleanser, my skin feels tight and I know I'm coming close to the point of no return (a.k.a. the A&D Adventure--see what I did there with the titles?). Thus far, I haven't felt that way with this stuff and I'm using it once more per day than I would if I was trying a regular cleanser or moisturizer. In fact, my face feels softer than ever.

The last few days, I've also been lucky enough to spend quality time with my friends and my husband. On Friday, JJ and I celebrated with one of our friends who got an internship in Washington D.C. On Saturday, we hung out with some friends who we hadn't been able to spend time with in a few weeks because we both have conflicting and crazy schedules. It's been nice to be able to laugh with friends. Let's be honest, life is stressful. Right now, if I didn't laugh, I would probably cry. I'm thrilled for any amount of time that I have with my friends. It's nice to decompress from the pressures of work, school, and money-trouble. I'm grateful to be able to do that at all right now.

At this point, academically, things are going well. I'd be lying, though, if I didn't say that I was counting down the days until Spring Break. It starts on March 8th and I'm just praying it will come a little bit faster!! I need time, world! Give me time!!

In retrospect, this whole post seems like tangential mental vomit, but I'm going to post it anyways. Why? Because it's my little spazzy blog world, and I can do as I please!

Be Mine!

Having shuffled off the chains of my moderate self-pity and depression, I am pleased to announce that I had a splendid Valentine's day with my husband.

To start with, I got up and my dad informed me that he had made breakfast for us all. I showered, styled my hair, and dressed. When I got downstairs, JJ had already eaten and my dad had a fresh cranberry scone waiting for me along with fresh pineapple. It was great!

Of course, per our usual Sunday routine, we made our way to school. I had to work from noon to four o'clock. JJ had his Catia class--to be clear, I'm not really clear on what Catia is; all I know is that it's some kind of seriously awesome, CAD-based computer program. It's a big deal for him because it will give him tons more job opportunities. I had a really great, low-key day at work. No conferences in the writing center, so no paperwork to do. I pretty much just chilled out and worked on my Media Analysis paper for my SOC 220 class. (My paper is about the discriminatory factors in a Brazilian yogurt ad. It's going to be awesome.)

After work was through, JJ and I went out for an early dinner at Biaggi's Italian Ristorante in Perrysburg. It was because of a suggestion from a friend that we decided to give it a try. It was super packed too, so we figured that was a good sign. We also figured it was a good thing we called for reservations on Wednesday afternoon. The food was phenomenal!

We split an antipasti sampler which consisted of calamari, bruschetta (my absolute favorite!), and stuffed mushrooms. We also got a bottle of Lambrusco--one of my all time favorite wines. For dinner, JJ got filet mignon with shrimp oreganata which came with roasted asparagus and mashed potatoes. The mashed potatoes were garlic infused and delicious! I know this because sharing is caring (yay kindergarten!). I ordered penne sardi, which was penne pasta with chicken, mushrooms, and onions in a sun-dried tomato cream sauce. The sauce had this sort of pale reddish hue--not quite what you'd call a pink, but not really a red either. The top of the dish was covered in oregano and garlic bread crumbs. The chicken was PERFECT, which is a word that I don't use lightly. We also got all the oil and bread we could stand.

Of course, because we ate so early, we got home really early. Since my family hadn't eaten yet, we went upstairs. In the typical Valentine's day tradition, one thing led to another. We fell asleep afterwards, only to be awakened by the phone's intercom system--my family offering us my father's homemade cheesecake. I had some cheesecake, but JJ, still feeling full, declined.

All in all, it was a very nice day--one of the better days I have had in quite a while, I would say. JJ and I had a wonderful time together, then came home and had an equally wonderful time in each other's audience. For a day focused on love, I'd say we made good on the theme.

Tissues for my Issues

I'm feeling the need for a personal pity party. My day has been full of disappointments. Much of this is my own fault, I suppose. Last night, I stayed up late to study for an Art History exam. This morning, though I got up on time, I just didn't get a good start. I got a 5 Hour Energy drink to try and make up for the difference, but it didn't really help that much.

My art history exam, however, I fear did not go as well as I had hoped. I couldn't remember the location of Saint Etienne cathedral--well, I remembered it was in France, but not that it was specifically in Caen. When writing in the name of the sculpture The Virgin of Paris, I didn't feel like the name looked right so, at the last minute, I changed it the The Virgin of France. I did manage to answer correctly an extra credit question, but that might not save my points. I was hoping to be much better than I was, I guess. Really, I have no one to blame but myself. I procrastinated when it came to studying for this class. There really isn't any valid excuse.

I got the results from my psychology exam back today as well. I did get 100 out of 100 points, but that was because my instructor automatically gives us back two points on our exams. I missed two questions. When I reviewed them on my exam after class, I saw that one of them was sort of a bogus technicality question. The other was my own mistake. The mistake I can deal with, but the other one sort of irritates me a little bit. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my psychology class. I'm really glad that I got so lucky and got this great instructor. I can tell that she respects me and the effort that I put into the class, which means a lot to me.

One of the biggest things that has been bugging me today is a response I got to an e-mail I sent. First, some back-story. Yesterday, the Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) was supposed to have a Valentine's Day flower and candy sale. I set up a deal with a woman who Student Government had worked with for flowers in the past, and it seemed like it would really work out. Well, to make a long story short, she showed up an hour plus late because she screwed up our delivery date despite the fact that I confirmed the right date with her. I still have her confirmation e-mail. The worst was that she was a total bitch about it. Hands down, total bitch.

So, because of my frustration at her lack of professional ability, I wrote an e-mail about how upset I was. Now, I'm smart enough to know that I'm emotional, so I sent it to John, Student Government's advisor and the supervisor of the Student Activities department which oversees the GSA, for review. The e-mail I got back which was, first of all, not even from John, but rather, a student worker in his office critiqued what I had to say. What the student worker said, basically, was that I should disregard this total insult and bad business, inform her we were disappointed, and get over it.

Honestly, I can't stand behind that idea. I'm not going to kick business to a woman who can't even be respectful to members of the two organizations of which I am an executive member. Moreover, I'm not okay with just letting her trample over us when it was HER mistake. She told the president of the GSA when he called, "This isn't our fault, you know. This is not our fault." Well, sorry, Bitch, but since I still have the e-mail in which you told me that you would deliver on the morning of the 11th, I'm pretty sure that, yes, it is your fault. Jerk. The main argument I got was that we might want to do business with them in the future. I have to say, as long as I'm a member of Student Government and the GSA, neither of those organizations will ever work with her again. She can forget the profits that she almost made on Student Government's graduation flower sale. (And, let me just say, at $2.50 a rose and an order that would have probably consisted of at least 1000, you're fucking yourself, babe.)

Two good things did happen, however. For one, Student Government did get a response on an issue we recently petitioned the administration to fix. It will be taken care of some time this Spring. Being that this is an issue we have been trying to call attention to for at least three semesters, I am pleased with my results. Secondly, the wonderful men at the Holland area Tireman balanced my tires for free. They also noticed that one of my tie rods had too much play in it and, as it was still under warranty, they will be replacing it for me for free. Let me just say, they didn't have to tell me it was under warranty because, frankly, I wouldn't have known. I have never had trouble with these guys, and they almost always go above and beyond for me. I am continually amazed at their stellar service.

I guess the thing that bothered me most was the e-mail, but the rest of the day wasn't exactly stellar either. Maybe it's just because I'm tired. Maybe winter is getting to me. I need some warmth. I need this crappy cold weather to stop drying the living hell out of my skin--seriously, it hurts. I need sleep. I need a good cry. I need money. I need a bevy of things that probably still wouldn't make me feel better. Hormones are such a bitch. Do I really have to get out of bed for another day?

Extra News!

It seems I have an additional reader! Yay! I realize this isn't a big deal, really, but it excites me!

Snow Days!

For the first time in what feels like ages, I have some free time!! Of course, this is not because I actually have free time so much as it is because Owens has closed for the last two days, actually allowing me a few moments to stop and catch my breath. It's been nice to find that I have some actual time to myself. For the first time since we moved to Ohio, I've had a nap in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon. In fact, I enjoyed it so much, I plan to have a Wednesday afternoon nap. (I grant you, according to any sleep studies you'll read, this is bad news. However, I'm so far in sleep debt, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. Not only that, but, dammit, I'm going to do something I want to do for once. Sleep studies be damned!)

Of course, what should I be doing with this free time? The answer I give you is the same answer that any student worth their salt should give you: studying. What am I really doing with this free time? Lazing about, something that I ordinarily haven't the time or chance to do. It's liberating in a way that makes me realize that I definitely don't want to do it all the time.

Now, to update my few readers on what has happened in my life as of late!

In Philosophy class, my instructor said something I didn't feel was very cool about the Jewish people. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not Jewish. In fact, I think in past blogs I have discussed my American Baptist heritage. I, however, am not one to tolerate remarks that seem derogatory that are geared towards a race, ethnic group, religion, sexual identity, or otherwise. I don't think that's right. Moreover, I don't believe that it has any place at all in a classroom setting. Needless to say, being the girl that I am, I was not hesitant to call him out on this behavior.

The main response that I got back from him was that his mother was Jewish and, thus, the Jews were his people. And, being his people, he was making fun of himself and it couldn't possibly be wrong. (A note here before I continue: this particular instructor is charming, charismatic, funny, attractive, and has an answer for everything. I often find myself frustrated because I can't think quickly enough on my feet in his presence. As soon as I leave, I find the perfect quip! It's the bane of my philosophical existence--haha!) Needless to say, I couldn't find the words to think of what I felt would be a proper response.

But I kept thinking about it. And, when I had thought it through, I felt good enough about what I had to say to go to his office hours and discuss it with him the next day. I feel a lot better about his class having said what I needed to say. Here's a synopsis:

-I wasn't cool with what you said.
-Where do we cross the line between you can say it because they're your people and I can't say it because they're not my people?
-Your class isn't diverse enough for me.
-The majority of your in class examples revolve around Christianity.
-I'm not always comfortable in your class, and I need to be comfortable with you to learn from you. (Direct quote here!)

He was receptive to my opinion and not defensive at all. He listened to what I had to say without belittling me. He gave justifications for what he did in class, but he never made me feel like less of a person. He told me that he didn't want me to drop his class because he felt like I was vital to our classroom--"Your synapses fire so quickly and you're able to process and contribute. I feel like our class would be diminished if you were to leave." He encouraged me to raise my hand more often to keep us on track and to prod diversity out of him. I left his office feeling good and valued as a student and contributor. We even talked about family. It was good.

Afterward, though, I had some doubts. Did he play to my ego? Did he just say that to appease me? Was I just struck by him because he's attractive and funny, so I was more willing to let things go than usual? This instructor makes me doubt myself! It would be a lot easier for me if I could just hate him. So why can't I? I'm not really sure.

He must have been listening to what I said, though, because the next class period we stayed more on topic than ever before. He included an example from the Islamic faith, rather than examples centered on Christian theology and philosophy. It was great, and I felt like maybe my conversation with him really had accomplished something! Of course, I only felt good about his class until I took his quiz online and missed a question. Five out of six. 83%. That's a B, folks. I'm not cool with B's.

Well, at any rate, I'm doing pretty good for having taken five classes instead of four this semester. Hopefully, I can parlay this into another 4.0 GPA. Seriously, if I lose it, I will cry. I thought I might get a B in a class which would have ruined my 4.0 and I cried. My husband told me, "Jessica, I think you need to understand that a B is a good grade! Other people would be glad to get a B!"

It makes me wonder when I made the leap from mediocre, non-caring student to perfectionist. In high school, I didn't care what my grades were; I just wanted people to stay off of my back. Now, years later in college, an A is the only grade that I'll accept. I fight for every little point. I complete extra credit even when I don't need to do it. How did I make such a drastic shift in attitude? Do I equate self-worth with grades? I can see myself growing ever more nervous about grades as my academic career progresses. This is no good. I need to find a way to stop freaking out about this stuff!

Is it crazy to want too badly to be a good student? Am I getting there?