However, it is because of my student status that I'm writing today. I know I haven't updated so there's a lot that my (sparse) readers don't know. Here's some stuff that happened to us in 2011:
- JJ's grandmother passed away. She was a beautiful soul and a welcoming, loving woman, and we will miss her dearly. Dealing with her passing has been incredibly difficult.
- JJ has faced a year of unemployment, despite a college degree in CAD.
- I started at a new college, where I have felt out of place and alone since day one of attendance.
- JJ and I rejoined my childhood church upon moving back, and we have been pretty involved lately.
- I spent my Christmas break from school substituting as the church secretary--which has had its own set of problems, not the least of which has been the fact that my Christmas break wasn't a break at all, and I'm definitely not getting paid for my time.
- We are running out of our settlement money, which has been what we've used to pay our bills.
Needless to say, things have been tense and difficult this year. We've been trying our hardest to make things better and to save money wherever we can to try to help things along--I even made my own laundry detergent because it's cheaper than buying it. Long story short, I started this semester (today is day two) with no textbooks, which has been REALLY freaking me out.
I posted on Facebook a lament about my lack of resources, and some friends really came to my aid. It wasn't my intention to fish for help or to beg for money, but rather just to vent. But some people, despite my telling them I was not trying to be a burden, decided to do what they could to help me out. Two people bought me books. A few others have offered to loan me copies of their books. I have never been more touched. I cried when I read my inbox messages, informing me that I had books on the way. I'm trying not to cry right now as I write this.
I guess I hadn't realized how desperate or alone I was feeling until people reached out to help me out. It's like how you don't realize that you're holding your breath until you breathe out and in again. The relief is like nothing else. It just washes over you.
So, to the people who saw it in their hearts to help me out, thank you. A thousand times, thank you. You have no idea what it means to me to have friends who care enough about me to try to make a difference in my life. And, for the record, you've made a huge difference. I value this for more than just the money. I value the fact that you guys were willing to reach out and help someone in need. I've never been more proud of my friends or more grateful for the things that they do for me.
I encourage anyone who reads this blog to reach out and help another person in any way that you can. Pay any kindness that has been shown to you forward. Because, honestly, it's amazing to be on the receiving end of that kind of love. And, having been on the giving end as well, that feels pretty awesome too. People can make a difference to each other. I hope that I can be in a position to pay it forward soon because I definitely want to pass this kind of love on to the next person.
