Morning? I Haven't Seen You in Ages!

This morning, I awoke at 8 AM, a time that I haven't seen in at least two weeks. I was pretty surprised to be awake, actually. In fact, I'm pretty surprised that I'm still awake. However, I couldn't return to sleep, so I decided to just hedge my bets and get up. I made coffee and toast. I watched Paper Moon for the first time. Since I was at a loss for what else to do that didn't involve showering or making my bed--because, let's face it, I'll probably return to it for a nap later--I opted to update my blog.

Allow me to update you, readers--few of you that there are--about the status of my rooming situation. Initially, I was assigned to room 301 in Justinian Hall here at Lourdes Commons. I liked my apartment because we had a wonderful view, new cabinets, and I had the bigger room of the two. I was supposed to have a roommate, but she never showed up, so I had the room to myself--and, consequently, the bigger closet to myself. The carpets were a little bit gross, but the rest was pretty bearable, actually.

My roommate, Melissa, seemed like she would be okay at first. She kept mostly to herself, but she and chatted at first. She occupied the single room, so we didn't have to share a bedroom space. Then, things got weirder. She said some very strange things to us and made some pretty strange scenes, which left us wondering what to do with her. I had some trouble distinguishing whether she was really as disturbed as she played at being or if it was an attention-getting act.

Lately, though, her behavior had taken a little bit of a troubling turn, especially considering that she's diagnosed bipolar. She started to withdraw. She stopped coming out of her room unless she thought I wasn't going to be around--like she would only go to the kitchen when I was in the shower or she'd only come out to shower once I left for a meeting or class. Pettily, she unfriended me on Facebook (trust me, I'm crying on the inside about that little move) only to write a childish status message which addressed her annoyance with me--annoyance which, I'd like to point out, she never actually spoke to me about. Tell all of Facebook, but not the person you're irritated with. Counter-intuitive, no? All of this comes after the meeting that we had with our R.A.s, who told her that she needed to communicate with me when she was upset. Clearly, she took that to heart.

Finally, it got to be a little too much for me. I spoke to the housing director and the resident life assistant director. I told them about some of the strange behaviors, that I was worried that she was deteriorating rather than getting better, that I didn't want to be the one to come home and be the one to find her if something should happen. I told them that I wasn't comfortable living with her anymore. I was surprised at how quickly things were set in motion after that. I had that meeting with them on Monday afternoon. By Monday night, I was in another apartment. I have discovered that you can move out of a place in less than an hour! I have also been told that mastering a midnight move-out is a life skill that one ought never take for granted.

Now, I'm sharing an apartment with Kaitlin, who I've mentioned before. I'm already more comfortable here than I was in my other apartment. I'm on the second floor now in room 204, but I'm still in the same building. The carpet is much nicer here, but the cabinets are old and the linoleum has cigarette burns in it. The company is much better, though, which makes some of the other compromises much more worth it. The only thing that I'm still trying to get used to is the noise of having an apartment above me at night. On the third floor, we didn't have those noises. I just need a week or so to get used to it enough to tune it out.

Last night, we had a very low-key night. We sat at the table and did some homework. We listened to some music, chatted about random things. I managed to be in bed before 3 AM--which, these days, is an accomplishment of epic proportions. I actually finished almost all of my homework. I have just a little bit more to do, but the worksheets that I have to complete should be fairly simple. We're discussing the carbohydrate metabolism, which means we're talking about glycolysis, the Krebs cycle, and the production of ATP in the mitochondrial cristae. It's like an A&P review for me, since we discussed these things in A&P 1 at Owens. The point is that it was nice to be able to sit and relax, not have to worry about what the other person is doing in their room.

Cat and I had a moment of utter astonishment at our own relief the other day. Kaitlin walked out of the apartment because her phone rang and she wanted to have a cigarette. Absentmindedly, I asked, "Where's she going?" Cat shrugged, and something occurred to me: it's incredibly nice to not have to worry when someone leaves if they're leaving because you've pissed them off or not. Melissa never said a word when she left, so there was always the question of whether we had offended her or not which hung like thick, black smoke over us when she was gone. I don't have to worry about that with Kaitlin.

Also, Kaitlin cleans up after herself. I watched her pull out glass cleaner and wipe of the stove and counter tops last night, and she noticed that I was watching. She commented that she was just cleaning up, and I had to realize that I had been staring. I told her it'd be a week or so that I'd probably keep doing that because my old roommate didn't do things like clean the kitchen. I did that. She rarely even sat in the same room with me, let alone lifted a finger to clean anything. I'm still pleasantly surprised when Kaitlin and I agree on things or even discuss them. We moved furniture on the first night and got our living room set up. We discussed and hung a mirror. We rearranged the shelves in the bathroom to accommodate each other. It's interesting how you take those little things for granted when you don't have them with other people. I'm a little surprised at how much I appreciate them.

Of course, all of this surprise makes me realize how awkward and uncomfortable I was becoming in the other apartment. I'm glad that I was moved. I feel a little cheated that I had to move, though, when I truly went out of my way to be respectful and make it work with Melissa. I do understand that moving her might stress her out more. I also understand that there are no open singles right now, so moving her would just put her problem in someone else's room, which is not what I want either. It's bad enough that I had to go through it. It's really not fair to force someone else to do the same. At least I can say that I did all the right things in this situation. I can look back at the way that I handled it and be pleased with the results. I can say that I tried.

The interesting part is that I never would have tried this hard a few years ago. I'd have said fuck it and fuck her and done everything that I could do to mess up her life. This can only mean one of two things: I am losing my fiery rage as I grow older or I am maturing and have discovered how to pick and choose my battles. I suppose I'll let others be the judge.