Do I Know It's Christmas?

Lately, my brother Joel and I have been pondering over the fact that this year just doesn't really feel like Christmas at all. Maybe we're some of the minority who actually feel that way, but it's just a feeling that I've been having this holiday season. It's been a very difficult year. Maybe these lacking holiday feelings are a side effect.

First, I guess I should say that Christmas this year is marred by the fact that no one in our family really has any kind of money. In my defense, holiday spirit is not measured in gifts at all, but Christmas just doesn't feel the same without some kind of little gift exchange. This is also the first year since I learned to make them that I haven't made Kiflis for our family--which is something that I proudly considered my job and a nod to my grandmother who passed away since she taught me about them. We haven't been watching any holiday movies (our usual movies are Scrooged and A Muppet Christmas Carol). We did put up the tree, but my mother insists on including these God awful little LED ice cube shaped lights, which make the whole damned thing just look hideous and kitschy.

I suppose rather than dwelling on the negative parts of our so-called holiday season, it would be a good idea for me to count my blessings. Rather than bitch about the things that are wrong with this season, let's enumerate the things that are right.

First, we have a home to live in and warm beds in which to sleep. Second, I have hopes to achieve a good education and have an excellent future. Third, I have living relatives who care for me very much. I have more friends that I can consider true friends than I've ever had before in my life. My roommate is fantastic. I have a sound mind and a functioning body. I have hope and potential to have so much more. Lastly, and most importantly, there are people out there who, for whatever reason, really love me. What's more important than that?

I'm going to try to stick with the blessed and hopeful theme, rather than feel bad for myself for the next few days. Tomorrow, I'll accompany my father to the store, we'll purchase items for Christmas dinner, and we'll come home. Perhaps, as a treat for all of us, I'll make cookies or a cake or something. It will give me something to do, something celebratory, and all of us something to look forward to. Plus, it would be nice to be able to give a little something to my family, even if it's as fleeting as dessert.

Just in case I don't have time to blog over the next few days, I'd like to wish all my sparse readers a Merry Christmas and happy holidays! Count your blessings.