Post-Birthday Post

So, it turns out that my optimism about my birthday this year was greatly exaggerated. In fact, there was no reason for it at all. Here's a little list of the disasters that helped make my birthday unforgettably terrible:

-car started acting funny on the way in to work
-got into bathroom at work only to have the power go out and have to feel my way right back out again
-left work for oral surgeon appointment
-car broke down a mile and half away from oral surgeon's office...in a work zone
-work men have to move my car because it's deadness is in their way. I bawl.
-work men have to move my car AGAIN because they need to re-open the entryway they moved me into
-get to the oral surgeon's office at 12:15 for a 10:45 appointment. I bawl.
-get toothpaste on my shirt
-oral surgeon rudely accuses me of being a habitual sugar-eater
-find out that my wisdom tooth extraction will cost $1465
-have an exam in Literature

It was a banner day, let me tell you.

Further, I discovered yesterday that the problem with my car is the transmission. It has to be replaced or refurbished. This will cost between $1500 and $2000. As I am of limited means, this is quite crippling. I have no choice but to fix the car. I can't afford to get another. Unfortunately, it also means that I will have to scrimp and save in order to be able to pay for my surgery by November 24th. I have to decide whether to refurbish the transmission for $2000 with a one year warranty or replace with a used transmission for $1500 with a three month warranty. I'll probably end up refurbishing, but I'm scared to death that I'll be making the wrong choice either way.

I am truly tired of being poor. My father tells me that it's acceptable to be living in poverty because my husband and I are still "becoming," but I would much rather be "became." I just wish we had some money for once. I wish we had something to rely on except optimism and the hope that it will one day be better. What if it never gets better? What if we are poor and dejected for the rest of our unhappy days?

Why can't I just have a trust fund and a BMW? Is that too much to ask?